Donatello's Duffel Bag
by meganechan720
Summary: A collection of unrelated drabbles. "Surgeon": Donatello might be the most dangerous of his brothers.
1. Great Grandpa

_This was inspired by Amiticia's story Generations, which is found on Stealthy Stories. It takes place right after the episode Fathers and Sons, season 5 episode 10 of the 2003 cartoon._

* * *

><p>"…and we'll do it again. We will find a way to defeat the Tengu Shredder—all of us."<p>

Michelangelo looked around at his brothers, still wearing those medallions with the dragon foot on them. Even though he knew better, even though it was upside down (or was it right side up and the other one was upside down?), seeing the mark of the Shredder on his brothers still gave him the creeps. He turned to the Ancient One.

"Hey, Ancient One?" he asked, earning the attention of his entire family. "I have a question."

"What is it, young one?" he said, inclining his head at the turtle.

"Well… why did we have to go back? Why… why couldn't we have stayed with you in Japan?"

"Mikey…" Leo said in a warning voice, and Michelangelo resisted the temptation to make a face. It's not that he didn't know he was being rude. He just didn't really care.

"No, it's all right, kumquat," the Ancient One said, nearly destroying Mikey's attempts at keeping a straight face. _Kumquat_. Snerk. The little man turned to Michelangelo and shrugged, grinning uncomfortably. "I have very bad luck with children?" he said, his tone suggesting he was not being serious. Mikey frowned.

"But we could have… we could have lived in Japan." He couldn't bring himself to say, _we could have lived under the sun._ The Ancient One smiled.

"Leonardo," he said, still looking at Mikey. "What is Michelangelo's greatest weakness in battle?"

Both turtles were startled by this. Leo looked apologetically at his brother before answering hesitantly.

"Well, I'd have to say it's his lack of focus. When he concentrates, he's a great warrior, but he doesn't do so nearly often enough."

"I coulda told you that," Mikey muttered.

"And would you have known that had you grown up without fighting anyone but each other or your sensei?"

"Uh…" That was a curveball. Leo thought. "I… I suppose not. Until we started battling real opponents, I guess I just thought he was a goofball through and through."

Mikey stuck out his tongue at his brother, but there was no real ire in it. He knew Leo was right.

"You see, Michelangelo," the Ancient One said. "You and your brothers needed to grow up in New York in order to become the warriors that you are. Though my home would have afforded a more pleasant childhood, it would not have made you into what you are today." He grinned again. "Plus I do have very bad luck in raising children."

Everyone laughed, including Michelangelo, but he had been around the Ancient One enough by now to tell when he was using humor to cover something up, and this was one of those times. He wondered if the old dude really thought that growing up in his house would have turned them into brother-killing maniacs, but he supposed that wasn't really the point. If he'd been given the choice, he knew he would have chosen a childhood in the sewers over one in the sun if it meant saving the world. Of course he would. That's what superheroes did.

It didn't mean he wouldn't still mourn fifteen years spent in darkness.


	2. Second

**Second**- _April is not the first woman Splinter ever met._

* * *

><p>She was the first woman his sons had ever met, but she was his second. And though it wasn't fair, second was what she was.<p>

Was it the universal tendency to idolize the dead? Was it the halo around the memories from before the mutation? Whatever it was, it meant that in all things she was being measured, tested, weighed, and compared. She was a fine woman, but who could be finer than the first? Whose fingers could be more slender and delicate? Whose cooking could taste better, whose hair could be shinier?

It wasn't fair. But he did it anyway.


	3. Housecat

The first time Mike found Klunk at Leatherhead's, he'd been searching frantically for the cat for over an hour and had been about to go up to the surface after checking with LH. The large crocodile had merely smiled a closed-mouth smile and indicated his shoulder, where Klunk was perched, eyes closed in contentment. Mike had laughed in relief and taken Klunk back with him, scolding the cat for worrying him.

The second time, Leatherhead's was the first place Mike had looked, and he spent some time just talking with him before taking Klunk back home.

After that he just let Klunk come and go between LH's place and their lair as he pleased.

Partly it was guilt that Klunk had to be cooped up in the lair all the time, partly it was guilt that Leatherhead as always here alone, but mostly…

Mostly it was the fact that Klunk playing with Leatherhead's tail was so _funny._


	4. Dioscuri

_This was done for a Stealthy Stories challenge by Connie Nervegas, who wanted someone to do a rather pretentious oneshot about the parallels between Castor and Pollux and Raph and Leo._

_I don't know about pretentious (it probably is) but here it is.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Like Castor and Pollux."<p>

"Hmm?" Leo turned to look at his brother. He'd been spacing, which was nothing new, but it appeared that Don had been as well. Don shook himself out of his book and gave Leo a brittle smile.

"You and Raph, I mean."

Somehow that name still had power to wound, even so long after the fact. Leo couldn't even really remember his brother's face, but the mere mention of his name was painful even now.

"How so?"

"Castor and Pollux, one mortal, one immortal. One destined to die, the other destined not to."

"I'm hardly immortal, Don."

His brother leaned back in his chair, heaving a great sigh.

"But it was always Raph that was going to go first. We knew that."

Leo was slightly affronted.

"_I_ didn't know that," he protested. "I always thought it would be me."

Don gave him his sad smile that was the closest thing to laughter he ever came.

"And we knew that, too. But Raph was too passionate to live long. He'd find some way to go down in a blaze of glory. I always knew…"

Leo looked back out the window. He'd known it too, which was why he'd vowed to go first anyway. It hadn't worked.

"What happened to them?" he asked, seeking punishment. They were Greek, right? They had to have a tragic end.

Don snapped himself out of another reverie and spoke as if on autopilot.

"When Castor died, Pollux asked the gods to share his immortality with his brother. They granted his request, and now they're floating above our heads," he gestured, "up there, as a bunch of stars."

"Hm?"

"They're Gemini."

"Oh."

Was that a happy ending? Leo couldn't decide. Would Raph want to be a bunch of stars? Would _he_?

He preferred Japanese mythology anyway.


	5. Ironic

_Short._

_And._

_Sweet._

* * *

><p>"Isn't it ironic? That we live in a sewer, and we get most of our stuff from the dump, and yet we still have to take out the garbage?"<p>

Don didn't even look up.

"I'm not switching chores with you, Mike."

Mike pouted.


	6. Monster

It was a well known fact that Michelangelo loved monster movies.

It was also known, though less widely, that Mike had the most frequent nightmares out of all of them.

What no one knew but him was: these two facts were not related.

He didn't understand how his brothers could think that watching bucket-fulls of red corn syrup and bad wolfman costumes could possibly be worse than the things he'd seen with his own eyes. Bathtub-fulls of actual blood, monsters and aliens and men in black sunglasses deep underground. His own brother transforming into a monster. Dinosaurs out for his flesh. He watched horror movies because he could laugh at them, because that made it easier to pretend that the blood he saw was just corn syrup; the monsters, just people in costumes. It made life easier to deal with.

While he was awake, anyway.


	7. Picky

There are foods they won't eat, April finds.

Chicken with the bones still in. Apples. (Though apple pie is fine.) Oysters. Shrimp. Most seafood, in fact.

It's not that they outright refuse these foods. They will even usually make token attempts to eat them. But Splinter will never push them to finish meals that contain these things, and she quietly stops offering them.

"We had a hard time finding food all the time when we were little," is all Mikey will say, the grin on his face the one that April knows hides things behind it. She doesn't ask again.


	8. Fight

Donatello carefully set down his coffee mug and took in a deep breath.

"Michelangelo, you are the stupidest person I have ever met, and that includes Casey _and_ Hun. You act like a child and your jokes _aren't funny_."

Mike's eyes widened, and then narrowed dangerously. His face went blank, and he clenched his fists, dropping the broken piece of machinery he'd been holding.

"You're the one always stuck in his lab. Even among _freaks_ you're a _freak_."

"Raph hits you because he wants to give you brain damage. Oops, too late."

"Master Splinter pretends to listen to your techno babble because he feels sorry for you."

"You're Master Splinter's least favorite son."

Raph looked over at Leo, who was watching this display with horror. In unspoken agreement, they moved closer together.

They hated it when their brothers fought.


	9. The Talk

Leo looked around at his brothers. It had been years since they'd been together like this, all in one room, talking and laughing. He hid a contented smile behind his drink, and then decided to contribute his own "do you remember" to the conversation.

"Do you remember when Master Splinter gave us all The Talk?"

"Worst. Day. Ever," Mike agreed.

"Oh, yeah," Raph mused, "It was basically, 'Don't do it, ever.'"

"I distinctly remember him saying, 'Not with humans,'" Donnie said. His brothers looked at him. He blushed slightly and shrugged. "What?"

"Oh, well, not like it stuck," Mike said airily. His brothers stared at him. He looked back at them in mock shock. "What? You can't seriously think that this," he indicated the entirety of himself, "is still pure?"

More shocked silence. Then Don sputtered to life.

"Okay, that—" He coughed. "That needs some more explanation."

Mike grinned. "Let's just say that Cowabunga Carl isn't just popular with the kiddies."

"And that," Raph said loudly, "Is all the explanation you are EVER going to give unless we are ALL plastered out of our minds, got it?"

Leo felt curiously light, like his spirit was floating outside of his body.

"You're just jealous because I'm the only one who ever got some."

"I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Mikey," Don said, trying for nonchalant and failing. Mike's mouth dropped open.

"Seriously, bro? I'm not the only one? Tell, tell!"

"I'm not hearing this," Raph muttered. If Leo had been in full possession of his faculties, he would have agreed.

"Um, well…" Don blushed and tugged at his bandana. "It was Jhanna."

"Jhanna?" Raph exclaimed, confused. "Who the shell is Jhanna?"

But Mike clearly knew who Jhanna was, because his mouth had gotten all the way to the floor and his eyes were surely going to pop out of his head at any second now. His jaw worked and it took him a few seconds, but eventually The Mikester sputtered back into gear.

"Dude—seriously? Miss Hot Alien Babe herself?"

"Whoa! You mean that blue chick?"

"The one you oh-so-_graciously_ offered to let use your bedroll?"

"I remember that! I thought you were being nice!"

"I was!" Don interjected, his face flaming. "She—she was very, um… grateful… you know, for our help. And, um… she wanted to, you know… show it."

Raph was shaking his head, but Mikey had thrown an arm around his brother and was giving him heartfelt congratulations. Leo finally recognized what that light feeling was. It was relief.

"Well, in the interest of full disclosure," he said, trying to sound business-like, and failing. It was now his turn to receive the brunt end of his brothers' disbelief. He could feel his face heating up. "Um… Renet."

"WHAT!" Mike's voice pounded through his head, igniting a brief but painful headache. Don was looking like some mixture between jealous and impressed. Raph just looked sick. "When, dude? Oh, I know! It had to have been when we were in Dinosaur-land! You sly dog!"

Leo turned his eyes to his closest brother, his right-hand man, the one who always jumped head first into the fray… and saw something he wasn't sure how to interpret. But Mikey beat him to it.

"Okay, Raph, it's your turn. Give us the goods, dude, we're all men here."

"Well, apparently we're not!" the turtle in question all but shouted. Don cringed. Leo sank into himself, wanting to be anywhere but here. Mike just looked confused.

"What do you mean by that, bro?" Then the full impact of Raph's words hit him and his face melted into a puddle of disbelief. "You don't mean you're a—"

"Just say it, Mikey," Raph growled, eyes glittering. "I _dare_ you."

Mike, in a fit of wisdom, shut his mouth. His recovery was swift.

"But what about Joy?"

"What _about_ her?"

"Well, you two _were_ kind of close…" Don supplied. Raph's scowl deepened.

"She had a boyfriend. AND I was forbidden!" He glared daggers at all the turtles present. "I can't believe I'm the only one who actually listened to Master Splinter about something," he said, his disbelief inexpertly covering up his hurt. "That just ain't right."

"Well, in all fairness, Master Splinter _did_ kind of give us that talk _after_ Leo and I—"

"Shut up, Don, I don't want to hear it. And that's no excuse for Mikey. What kind of woman gets her kicks from a guy in a bobble head suit? No I DON'T want to hear about it," he shouted preemptively, as Mike opened his mouth.

"Actually, it's kind of my fault we even had that talk in the first place," Leo said sheepishly, wondering if getting the weight off his chest would equal out the bruises he was likely to incur from it. "I kind of may have told Master Splinter about it after we got back from the Cretaceous."

"You mean I have _you_ to blame for that horribly embarrassing evening?" Mike shouted, looking betrayed. "Leo, why oh why can't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut?"

Both Don and Raph reached over to smack him. Leo shook his head. Some things never change.

* * *

><p>Later, though, Mike got Raph on his own and muttered something to him. Raph asked him to repeat it.<p>

"You don't want to be with a human," he said. Raph stared at him. Mike gazed back, his face serious, his eyes full of memory. "We're not… compatible with them. It doesn't really work all that well, and… Anyway, you should count yourself lucky."

Raph's mouth opened, and Mike patted him on the shoulder and walked away before he could say anything.

They were going to have to be REALLY wasted.


	10. Wolfman

_Follow-up to Monster._

* * *

><p>"Mikey," Leo said, putting his hand on his brother's shoulder, "This has got to stop."<p>

Mike just looked blearily up at his brother. It was one of the bad nights, and no sarcastic quip came to mind.

"What has to stop?" he slurred sleepily. As far as he could tell, he wasn't doing any of the things that normally annoyed Leo—was trying hard not to, in fact. He'd just settled down in front of The Wolfman, a nice cheesy, bad-special-effects monster movie, which was just what the doctor ordered on a night when some things refused to be forgotten.

"This!" Leo said, gesturing sharply at the TV, where creepy music accompanied the opening credits.

"Sorry, I'll turn it down," Mike said, reaching for the remote. Leo caught his hand, and then sighed, vaulting over the back of the couch to sit next to his brother.

"That's not what I meant," he said, softer. Mike waited for him to elaborate. He was too tired and too deep in bad memories to guess. Eventually Leo spoke again, his tone patient.

"I just don't understand why you insist on watching these things when you know they give you nightmares."

Mike stared at his brother, comprehension slow in coming. When it did, his face contorted into disbelief. His brother thought—Leo actually thought monster movies _gave_ him nightmares?

"Uh, you got you cause and effect mixed up there, bro," he said, still bewildered. How could Leo think some guy in a wolf costume could possibly be scary enough to give him bad dreams?

"What do you mean?" Leo was frowning his 'I don't get it' frown. Mike fidgeted with the worn blanket he was snuggled under.

"They don't give me nightmares," he said simply. Leo sighed again.

"Mikey, every time you have one of your marathon monster movie nights, you fall asleep on the couch partway through the third movie and then wake up less than an hour later complaining of nightmares. Half the time you come sleep with one of us because you're so scared."

It was Mike's turn to frown.

"I don't get nightmares from scary movies, Leo," he insisted. "That's stupid."

"Stupid how?"

"Dude, we've seen_ way_ scarier stuff than that." He indicated the screen, where a horrifying, but ultimately very fake-looking, transformation was under way. "This is nothing compared to some of the stuff we've seen."

Leo shook his head, unconvinced.

"Look, are you gonna join me or not?" Mike said, holding out the popcorn bowl. Leo held out for a good ten seconds before he grabbed a handful and settled down.

"I still don't know why you watch these," he muttered. That was just fine with Mike.


	11. Shrine

**Shrine**

_BTTS. Don convinces his brothers not to give up on Splinter._

_Takes place directly after the first episode of Back to the Sewers._

* * *

><p>They walked morosely away from the hunk of metal that had been Serling, Leo leading the way, the three of them clustering together for support. He took them to Yoshi's shrine, and knelt, wordlessly, in front of it, putting his palms together. Raph knelt heavily next to him, and then Mike knelt next to Raph. Leo cocked his head, waiting to hear signs of Don kneeling on his other side.<p>

None came.

"He's not dead, Leo," Don said desperately, and his brothers all jerked around to look at him, Leo's head turning last.

"Donny—" He began, gently, but Don clenched a fist and pounded on the wall beside him, eyes clenched as tightly as his fist.

"He's not dead!" He opened his eyes to pierce Leo with a stare far more intense than he was used to seeing from Donny's eyes. "That was a decompiler ray, we were just bits of data, he could be—Viral was hit by that same beam and _she_ came back—"

"Donny." Leo said, in a quiet, cutting voice. Don fell silent. "If you simply can't accept that he's dead, then I understand, and we will mourn our sensei as he would have wanted us to while you come to terms with it at your own pace. But," and his eyes slid softly shut as his voice cracked, very slightly, "if you really think there's a chance he might be alive, then we will do whatever it takes to get him back." He opened his eyes again, and gave Don a piercing gaze of his own. "But we _can't._ Afford. To go chasing after ghosts right now, Don."

Don was silent for a little while, because he knew that if he answered too quickly Leo would never believe him.

"He's still out there, Leo. I _know_ he is. I'm not sure if I can bring him back…" Admitting it was physically painful, and Don drew in a deep breath. "But I have to try. Please."

Leo studied him, and the two of them could feel Mike and Raph holding their breaths. Then he inclined his head, and Don relaxed, Raph sat down with a _whumph_, and Mike jumped up, yelling exuberantly and unintelligibly.

"Thank you, Leo," Don said, under the din. Leo just nodded again, and helped Raph up.


	12. Surgeon

_This was my 2011 Secret Santa gift for for Donnysgal._

* * *

><p>Donatello knew for a fact that most of the street punks they encountered thought he was the least dangerous of his brothers, and he didn't go out of his way to prove them wrong. Raphael's berserker moments probably replayed in their enemies' nightmares, and Leonardo was obviously a clean, cool death machine. Even Mikey was someone you wanted to stay away from, for the dual reasons he swung wildly and without apparent purpose in his hands. On the outside, Don knew they had every reason to regard his simple staff as a longer, but weaker version of their lead pipes: a mere blunt object used as a crude instrument for breaking bones and bloodying noses.<p>

He loved, on very rare but memorable occasions, proving them wrong.

Raph carried the sais because he wanted to poke messy holes in his enemies, Leonardo carried the swords for their beauty, and Mike carried the nunchaku for the challenge. But Don carried the wooden staff for a very specific reason, and that was this: it was true that he did not love to kill, but when he did, he wanted it to be deliberate.

He did not leave messy holes, he did not slice through tendons or leave large bloodstains on pavement. He was like a surgeon, striking with no more force than was necessary in one very precise spot, and his enemies dropped like sacks of meat, their brains turned to oatmeal while still inside their skulls.

Sometimes, he thought his brain might be more of a horror show than Raph's, but he didn't want to test this theory.


	13. Lab

_Thought of this while watching the new Spider-man movie._

* * *

><p>Don cocked his head to the side.<p>

"What a weird place for a lab," he said, before continuing down the sewer pipe.


End file.
